For Moms with angel children, Mother’s Day can be very painful reminder of the child that should still be with you. While other families get to spend time celebrating together, it can be easy to feel like your child in heaven has been forgotten. You might even feel like other people want you to forget your angel child. But what about when you aren’t ready to forget? How can you honor your memories and hopes for your angel child on this special days? Alycia De Lucio shares some ideas from her own experience.
For the Moms with Angel Children on Mother’s Day
When I think of my children I see them playing in a field of tall green grass. I see blue cloudless skies, giant mature trees, and them chasing each other with big carefree grins. All the colors are beautiful, vibrant and intense. I hear the joyful sound of children’s laughter. I close my eyes and let those giggles fill my heart to overflowing. I think of their innocent faces, beautiful hearts, and their little hands in mine. I think of them playing together and carefree as children should be, without a worry in the world.
When I see my children, I see them in heaven.
I see them spending time with Jesus and He just adores them like I do. I see them sitting on his lap and see Jesus explaining to them who their Mommy is and why we can’t be together. I know Jesus has just the right words to say so that they understand, even though I don’t.
I miss them with every part of my being, but when I close my eyes I see them and I am also filled with joy. When I see them they are just so happy and I am grateful that they are in the loving arms of the creator of the universe.
Some of us are mommies of children, some of us are mommies of angels, and some of us are mommies of both. We are all mommies. As Mother’s Day approaches, it’s my hope that those of you who have lost children through abortion, pregnancy loss, or infant death can feel God’s comfort and peace during this holiday. Mother’s Day can be very painful for those of us who have experienced loss but I pray that this year you can think of your children with joy in your heart instead of sadness.
You may have never honored your children in heaven in an official way, maybe because it felt strange or too painful at the time. I understand. I’m here to encourage you that it can be healing and beautiful and full of joy. I have honored my children in various ways, depending on what felt right at the time and each has brought me comfort and peace.
Ideas for Honoring Your Angel
Write a Letter
I have written letters to all my children, some before the loss about my hopes and dreams for them and some not until after they were gone to say goodbye. Writing a letter is hard. Seeing the words on paper seems to make it more real but I am always glad that I got to say the things I wished I could have said in person. I have also written letters or prayers to God asking Him to share with them my messages and lovingly placing them in His care.
Release a Balloon
We have also released balloons for some of our children with little notes attached. There is something hopeful about watching your words floating up towards heaven and imagining your child receiving it. We spend time choosing the location of where we would release our balloons. Once we released the baloons at our church by the lake. Another time we chose an orchard of fruit trees on a road trip. Both were beautiful.
We prayed together over the little note we attached to the balloon before releasing it. We also took pictures to remember the day.
We were able to officially bury our daughter with this most recent loss, which is something we hadn’t been able to do before. We included our letters to her in the box along with a wooden cross and put flowers on top before covering it. You can also bury things that remind you of your child to memorialize him or her: the things you had bought for them or that were given as gifts.
This process doesn’t have to be formal. My husband and I didn’t plan anything to say. We had already said it in our letters so we just spent time enjoying the beauty of the place we buried her and the peace God had given us at that moment.
Speak to Them
I believe our children in heaven are always with us so we don’t necessarily need to visit a grave-site to spend time with them. You can simply talk to them anytime you want. Maybe Mother’s Day is a good day to spend some time sharing your heart with them, telling them you love them and how excited you are to see them one day.
You can also spend time in prayer or meditation and ask God to show you your children. Be open to receiving what God has for you, it can be the most beautiful and joyful experience.
If you have living children it can be hard to find time in the midst of celebrating Mother’s Day to acknowledge and honor your children in heaven, so if all you can do is think of them briefly and send up a “mommy loves you” message then that is enough. But if you can find the time, the ways to remember them are endless.
If your living children are aware of their sibling they can be involved in remembering them too. I’ve seen other mom’s take family photos with a teddy bear in it to represent their missing child in the picture, sign their name on the Mother’s Day card or light a candle in their honor.
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.”
Mother’s Day is a time when you deserve to feel honored, loved and valued for your mother’s heart. Your children love you, whether here with you or in heaven and they are with you always. On behalf of our children, thank you.
Thank you for giving them life, no matter how short. Thank you for loving them with every part of your being. Thank you for growing and nourishing them inside you as long as they were there. Thank you for remembering them and always carrying them in your heart. Happy Mother’s Day!
Dedicated to Isaiah, Grace, Eli and Abby….mommy loves you! Until we meet again….
About Alycia De Lucio
Alycia is a women who has been through many struggles- bullying, divorce, bankruptcy, abortion and now infertility. But she believes God has redeemed her brokenness and He will continue to do so through her story. Alycia is a wife, sister, friend, and child of God.
For related posts, visit Alycia at Built in the Fire, where she shares about infertility, loss, love, and faith.