I started accidentally potty-training my daughter last week. While I can’t say that things went smoothly, I can say that it was entertaining. For all the Moms who need camaraderie, or who want to shake their heads at a foolish first-time Mom, here are eight potty training thoughts I had while working with my toddler daughter.
A note because I want to make this clear: I was NOT the one potty-training.
8 Thoughts I had While Potty Training my Daughter
#1 – “One little accident isn’t that big of a deal…” | “Weren’t You on the Potty Just Five Minutes Ago?”
It’s true. One little accident isn’t that big of a deal. I’ve cleaned up worse messes from the cat than I have from my daughter (at least at this date in time). However, when you realize that you’ve said it a few times already in the day, that mantra quickly changes to an overwhelmed exclamation of, “Weren’t you on the potty just five minutes ago?
#2 – “They’re all liars!’
They was undefined, but I have since come to believe that “they” includes any Mommy Bloggers who have shared advice on how to potty train easily. For those who are now concerned, let me lay it out there for you:
- There is no “three-day, no-tears” method of potty training
- Readiness signs mean squat if your child suddenly decides she’s anti-potty on Day #3
- Bare butt is more acceptable to a little girl than wetting her panties
- If your child is scared out of using the potty due to over-praise, then you’re doing it wrong for your child (use white chocolate chips instead!)
If any Mommy Bloggers take issue with my statements or dare to accuse me of doing something wrong, then I challenge them to potty-train any future children of mine. I have a feeling that stubborn streak – due to being a trait both Mommy and Daddy possess – will be present in all biological children of mine.
#3 – “Wait – how does this work with eating meals? Food goes in, stuff comes out, right?”
Answer: it doesn’t work well, at least during the first couple of meals. I tried feeding her in the chair. I tried feeding her on the floor. In the end, I discovered that I am the proud mother of a wild child who enjoys running around my home while grabbing a bite of food each time she passed the plate. Whatever. She was happy; I was tired.
After a couple of days things magically got better and the novelty of free access to food wore off. I also learned that my toddler switches back into a sweet and calm child for Daddy. Apparently she’s only my wild child.
#4 – “Please, please, please peepee before dinner…”
Ever since the historic moment, as I was bouncing back and forth between a hot stove and a toddler sitting on the potty (it’s a small home; I could see her the whole time!), I’ve been debating if that was a sacrilegious prayer. I’m leaning towards not.
Potty training is rough, Moms. Don’t underestimate how exciting it is to make it through an entire dinner without a potty accident.
#5 – “Maybe I shouldn’t be doing blank.”
First-time potty trainers will have a lot of things to plug into that blank. It might be concern about the number of white chocolate chips the child is suddenly consuming. (No judgement allowed! It was so spontaneous I had to work with what I already had.)
It could be about free access to food all day.
Or about using toilet paper vs. wipes even.
#6 – “Riiiight, bare bottom method. I bet the experienced Moms get a real kick out of recommending that one.”
I mentioned it earlier, but now I want to spend some extra time on this thought. You see, now that I’ve tried it with the toddler-approved result of, “Hey! I can go whenever and wherever, like in my diaper, but I don’t get all that nasty wetness on me,” I can almost hear the snickers.
Experienced moms whom I trusted to guide me, is this some kind of initiation into toddler mommyhood? Because completely bare-bottom definitely did not work for us. Universities are banning hazing for a reason you know!
#7 – “Oh no, I’m going to be stuck using little kid versions of “using the bathroom” for the rest of my life, aren’t I?”
It’s going to be just like how I waved normally for twenty-three years of my life only to get stuck doing little kid waves while saying, “Buh-bye!” Just last night, I found myself saying, “I need to peepee potty.”
#8 – “Will this actually end?”
No explanation needed.
However, take comfort my fellow Moms in the trenches of Potty Training! It does come to an end. When your toddler adapts to the potty enough to tell you when she needs to go, there’s a new kind of peace that descends upon the home. It’s called “freedom from a huge financial burden.” (<-Note: that doesn’t apply to cloth diaperers.)